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So this is what 36 feels like?

So this is what 36 feels like?

I thought I’d look and feel and just…be old. I don’t feel old, don’t seem old….other than a little soreness here and there. Hopefully I don’t look as old to little kids as I remember 36 looking (or more seeming) to me when I was their age.

I remember the game with my same aged cousin “We are only 10 years away from 20 now!” And now I am closer to 50 than I am to 20.

Where did the time go?

Time is our most precious jewel in the world. Our most valuable. Money can’t buy it. It is what we take for granted the most. The thing we value the least. We can’t earn it, we can’t work for it. We can’t buy it. And we can’t be granted our wish for more of it.

I remember age 16 just emerging into the actual world. I remember age 26 life had already in a decade been lived ten times over it seemed. I remember the bit earlier aged 25 “WTF am I doing with my life? Am I making the right decisions? What do I REALLY want to do? It’s getting too late to make changes, decisions, to not know!” (I wasn’t a not-know, I was just an ever changing kind.) Funny thing is…starting over, changing my mind, my entire life and not always getting it down right or “pat” has happened a few times over since. Now someone tells me “I’m too old to start over, I wasted time, It’s too late” and I’m like. “pfft, kiddo, you’ve no idea.” There is never a too late and you are never unable. Life is a bit different for everyone and thank the gods for it. There is no wasted time in an awesomely lived life, just be prepared for the changes in the course. What else do you have? The entire road ahead of you is all. And that’s a lot to have the power of. Control…not so much. So says the person who LOVES to control everything (well, love/hate).

I’ve been through a lot that knocks a person down, even “holds them back” of which I don’t believe in. I once had an FBI profiler and criminologist ask me “How do you go on after that?” And my answer was “What choice do you have? What else do you do? I have my entire life ahead of me.”

It’s really amazing to think just how much power one has of themselves….can life come at you pretty hard? Can others really try and change you, shape you, tear you down, build you up? Yep…and influence….they all should be a part of that, good and bad. Seek out the good, weed out the bad. But deal with it as it comes, it can not be avoided altogether. Life is life. But where that clay molds is up to you…fold in that life and spin the wheel but it’s all in your hands, how it shapes, turns out, eventually sets in.

According to plan? Pfft….where’s the nearest window? Not one? Those plans will make one for you through which to leap. So says the person who is a planner to the bone. I am also and thankfully always have been the person who can toss their hands into the air and say “Whatever, that was a great ride. It is what it is. I couldn’t control that. Now, where are we going next?”

Is life a fairytale?  Do I want a fairytale? pfft, no….fairytales always have an ending. But funny enough, to get to the happy they went through the bad. But they always get their happy, so remember that.

I remember about a year ago when my hair really became a bit duller, and after years of having it’s own shades which change drastically over time, it seemed unable to find itself now. Funny enough it was at a time I had felt I’d “found” myself more than ever before. (I’ve never truly been a lost type, though it might seem so from the outside on occasion, but there are still moments of far more “clarity”.)

I remember having a bathroom with great natural lighting….btw fuck the bathroom with great natural lighting….every fine line seemed to etch across my face as I watched them in the mirror. Suddenly. I thought “When did this happen?” And more so I thought “How do I stop it?” And even more “How do I reverse it?”

Well, I will say that going from care free youthfulness and as one who is not into chemicals and barely ever did a thing to my face and never knew a pimple until I even hit aged 30 that I have learned a trick or two…however I still stay chemical free and natural.

I am a little less carefree and truly a little selfceare regimen has become a welcome routine. Sometimes a time in my day when I “Slow down” a moment. I’ve made it all a nice thing..wine, candles, music. the whole nine.

My face is a little more than splash & go now but now I take care of her, examine, and watch her changes like reading a story. It always seems a ‘someone else’s story’ and is a shock when I realize it is my own.  Perhaps I am simply less careless than I am carefree. That can be said of a lot of aspects of my life. As much as I “thought” I had not been careless with any of it I can look back now and think…she was so careless, so naive…

I did try makeup for a minute again after that. I’ve never been one for it. Even modeling couldn’t change that. Being very sensitive with my skin and always anti-chemicals and once reading an article about what those powders inhaled did to your lungs  pretty much killed it for me. Plus I could spend that money on books (Also pretty much my excuse for never doing drugs or smoking or drinking much besides how I knew all that made you look, and harmed your body). I was never one who didn’t have better things to do…though far from being one who meant to look drab because she didn’t care. I did groom and dress with thought. Hopefully I never looked drab. Vanity? We all have that, don’t kid yourself. And I have zero problem going under the knife should I get a flabby chin. But I thought I was “old enough to grow up a bit and start looking it” and began spending a little time each day applying makeup. I love it on other women (when done well) and I simply adore the no hair out of place women I see occasionally. I admire the older woman especially who’s care and dedication really shows in such an elegant way. Now, I am not one for hair in a top bun and sweats. I don’t even own sweats. I have always thought wearing yoga pants when not yoga-ing was nonsense…and sneakers when not headed to or from the gym or an activity  that calls for it? Ugh. I do judge and lord I do like a good pair of shoes even as my older feet don’t take the heels so well these days (FYI, Melania wears them all the time because once they are taken off a woman just…stops. This I know. This I do actually truly understand, and our legs and ass always do look much better in a heel. Beauty is pain and pain is beauty. But I’ve fallen in love with the memory foam inserted sperry, I won’t lie. And frankly I walk too much in my travels or, even when I was always walking around down town Galveston Island, for heels. (And the island will kill you in wearing heels as there isn’t a day that goes buy the best in them doesn’t get a heel stuck in a crack or wedged into the road.) And though makeup is called for on occasion (a power suit can’t be worn without it and a dress and jewelry for any occasion but a casual Sunday need a finished package), to be worn the daily just isn’t it for me. My hair is less drab after finding some natural ways to self care to meet the needs of my body now. Honestly, more fresh air, sunlight, sweat a little (I’d not had any or much sunlight or exercise for a time when it became drab) and bone broth has worked wonders.

I am now a year older than my mother was when she had her LAST child (of nine). I have no child and my life is incredibly different than my mothers, though there has been some parallel from time to time.  My little sisters, once babies I very much took care of, have babies.

And I can’t say it enough; Time is our most precious jewel in the world. Our most valuable. Money can’t buy it. It is what we take for granted the most. The thing we value the least. We can’t earn it, we can’t work for it. We can’t buy it. And we can’t be granted our wish for more of it.

I realize how naive I was and I look at other young emerging women and think “They have so much they are about to learn” but at the same time I feel and KNOW I am naive at times still. The difference between your young 20’s and now…and later…in your 20’s you will never recognize naivety in the smallest moment. She’s a perfect stranger to you. A face in a crowd you walk right past at best. I think in your 30’s she’s like a sister who you know but who is distant to you in space and emotion…but you know her more than a recognized neighbor by far, know intimate details and yet not everyday ones. Later  when I am older perhaps she will be the best friend who you laugh over a cup of coffee with…or cry.

Would I change any of it? Any of these past 36 years? Not at all. Not a chance. I could do without a few parts but it’s a few parts of added clay and a little water added to keep the wheel spinning that made me.

I don’t regret lost loves because I would then have to regret not having that love. I don’t regret the mistakes. I don’t regret the stumbles and the start overs. I embrace the chances I’ve had. I cherish every moment and many amazing memories. I recognize my opportunities. I’ve learned that “starting over” isn’t the end of the world. I’ve learned that people who were a perfect fit once aren’t now…it’s not always them, it’s usually me. I’ve learned it’s the small things, the experiences and not the “things”. I’ve learned one can enjoy cake without it being for a wedding or a birthday. And I’ve learned that I’ve yet to learn it all.

I’m at a time when everything from my life story is in a category of Retro and even Vintage now. But I am also at a place in my life when those things mean something good when I find it. And so perhaps….

And again and again I’ll remind myself; Time is our most precious jewel in the world. Our most valuable. Money can’t buy it. It is what we take for granted the most. The thing we value the least. We can’t earn it, we can’t work for it. We can’t buy it. And we can’t be granted our wish for more of it.

So this is what 36 feels like…

#HappyBirthdayToMe #OctoberSeven #Libra

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The Memories That Storms Stir.

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Another day slept in until 2:pm. I didn’t sleep well, went to bed finally putting my book down at 2:am, and the cat came in in the morning and snuggled up to me hard….so that is my real excuse. How could I disturb her preciousness?

Still working on sleep habits, day habits, schedules in general. Working for myself, holding myself accountable to get my work done, eat properly (and not forget and skip all day meals and then eating dinner and a snack later) yoga and bike riding and other events and activities, especially when I have people to meet and places to be.

Now I am sipping my coffee and took a glance on FB and the weather channel to check on my islander friends. I’m nearly sad I am not there to hunker down through it myself. Today I miss the storms of the island. I’ve been through many, having moved there right after Hurricane Ike.

My views from every place were amazing and special. I remember the Artists lofts being about the best storm view of my time there, my second runner up would be my last little apartment over on the corner of Postoffice and 18th at 1724. Postoffice..  I was up in the back on the top floor of my 11 tall windows from all sides but the front. My view showed over the houses on three sides as well as over the harbor. The storms there could be crazy scary and in a studio with two windows in the bathroom, no closet…there wasn’t a place to hide. I’d often lay in the safest away from windows corner of my bed waking to the lightning bolts nearly ready to invite themselves to breakfast.

Rain always came in my back door (which was my only door but faced the back faced the back of the victorian home turned apartments onto my little porch). There was no cover of any sort over the door, and the landlord did eventually put in some better weatherstripping though it wasn’t ever truly solved if the rain drove that way, knocking right on the door usually inviting herself in for coffee, uninvited but always welcome. I loved rainy days there, and stormy even better.

A big towels at the floor did the job for me and the weatherstripping did get better.

The rain in wasn’t really much nor a big deal (as long as towel in place), the rain around is what was special, the view and watching her just SWOOSH right outside my windows over my big green yard on the side with its fruit tree’s.

I would usually spend those days with a pot of soup on the stove of the open kitchen, while sitting at my table working on my at the time mainly Behind The White Gate’s novel. My back to one window nearly butted up against that two toned green victorian that you either love or hate, my face toward the window over the garden of fruit tree’s and aloe plants. The lightning always seemed mad at the harbor, the wind trying to find it’s way in on all sides rattling my eleven thin antique windows within their wooden panes, the rain out there while I was in here. I seemed in the storm, but dry and warm from it at the same time. The Summer storms have their very own feel….the grass is greener when wet and smells so divine after, windows to be thrown open for a gulp of after storm smell in that tiny spot before the humidity would set in. Winter storms were the special ones with the apartment smelling of soup on the stove, the heater on trying its damndest to warm the apartment from wooden sunbleached floor to 14 foot high ceilings. And me sipping my coffee and writing what would basically become my future. Not the story itself, mind you, but the book, the writing, and the life.

I’ve seen many storms since I’ve left the island. Storms over big empty un-ending lands of prairie, over lakes coming at you like it has a vendetta. And around mountains that seemed to move even for it. Unstoppable storms with each their own great beauty in the shadow they create, a rainbow later of the darkness. But Galveston storms are a kind of their own. Over the gulf waters that turn the sky the most spectacular grey’s and the waters the perfect lightest seafood green you could imagine. I often wish to find a pearl in that same exact grey and a jewel that captures that seafood green. There has never been in my life a storm like a Galveston Island storm. And each and every one of them hold a candle to the other there. Even the tornado’s and lightning over a desert with no place to hide doesn’t beat them in their angry angry beauty.

Harvey; it’s a good name. I hope he doesn’t bring quite as much memory as Ike did for those that are there, but at the moment he stirs many memories inside of me and even from no less than three days drive and safety away. Galveston Island storms will do that to you….touch you, stir something inside of you even when you are far far away from the island.

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Back to work.

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Ok, work month has begun. Even though I slept until 2 and didn’t sleep until daylight….oy…gotta work on that. #Writer #Work #Sleep

I am set up for it. Books pulled out for work. Essays and reading materials and articles galore set up.

The bedside piled high with books by Roxane Gay, Arianna Huffington, Lynette Chiang, Mary Karr, Gloria Steinem, Hillary Clinton, Jhumpa Lahiri,
Jenny Rosenstratch, Lewis Hyde, John T. Shaw, Tom Brokaw, Ruth Rosen, Rufi Thorpe, Elena Sandovici, Sherman Alexie, Jamie Ford, James Wasserman, and Chade-Meng Tan, and those are just my bedside Reads & Books I Am Reading this month alone.

#ReadingPile #BedsideTable #Read to #Write

My daytime Reading is, of course, various News Scources and Politics involved. A whole lot of LongReads, Yoga Magazine, Writers Digest, The Atlantic, Cosmopolitan, Vogue, Garden&Gun, Eating Well Magazine, Vanity Fair, the New Yorker, Forbes, Economist, and a million other Articles from many other sources, etc.

I did pick up up a Scats and Tracks of the Desert Southwest Field Guide as well. You know…cause…identifying poop.

And I picked up a newbie called Breathe from Barnes&Noble a Magazine/Booklet that is about Wellbeing- Mindfulness- Creativity that will be my over morning Coffee Reading.

I am sure by the end that doesn’t even scratch much surface of what I’ll Read this work month.

Currently my google bar is How To Become A Morning Person And of course there is a lot to Read about and on Writing to dive into on the World Wide Web. Google and Library time well spent.

I survived an Office supply store at the start of the School year and stocked up on pens and things and stuff, and of course a whole new pile of Notebooks and Journal Books from Barnes&Noble and other. Time for the new year Planner, too, soon.

So now it’s Coffee and sit and Work time. Oh….and now that J’s gone for the month, I am back to my Netflix of Grey’s Anotomy rewatching…because I figure it falls into the line of Work and Research of a Mentor because….. Shonda Rhimes is bad ass.

To Write well is to Research well….pass the wine and cookies.

#Essays #Essay oh and don’t forget the about 100 #Blogs I #Read . #cosmopolitan .

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Wine, cookies, and Netflix in bed.

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*I’m not crying.*
Last night was the last night of Joe being home before another month away. Always the sad time that hits. But the joke is that it’s before I get annoyed with him. We enjoyed the last moments, had a hard and fast bike ride, a good hot tub soak after a swim, eating an amazing yummy dinner. Work also begins for me after today. One last night of in bed with wine, netflix, and cookies…..
 
Well, with Joe involved.
 
After this last vacation, we are a bit sun touched, my nails have seen better days and a lot of rock, we each have our share of bug bites, and we’ve enjoyed every outdoor moment of it all. Hiking, climbing, caves, swimming, even swimming into caves, riding our bicycles, back roads driving, amazing meals, good recommended from strangers wines, exploring, and fun, laughter, a lot of laughter. We’ve sang the songs of our hearts, and napped underneath the sunshine.
 
Hit several new and neat spots of America this trip, I have a few myself coming this next month, and then we are onto even more new terrain. Though it’s looking like we are getting ready to transition from RV to boat and the process soon begins. It will be a long process, but eventually new adventures, while still never ending adventures now. Sail to Cuba! is in my future. Nearer than later.
 
Now he’s gone and even the cat is waiting for him by the door (our joke is she does things constantly acting like a dog to make us not want a dog), today is my latest deep clean time, put some things away back in place…organize piles of books I’ve collected these past two weeks and thrown to one of the couches. Throw in a load of laundry and pull out my work for the next month, unfold it and set it up from the place I’ve tucked it away for a couple of weeks. Lay out my calendar, touch up what needs to be (as I pretty much often have it done with only needing some changes, often due to location and added work) pull out my stack of notebooks and different projects in the works…everything needed for this month, as well as always what I try and get to but may not. And always the main work, my main current project, and the main food on the table works. #WillWriteForFood always. lol Such is a writer’s life.
Is it glamorous? #absolfuckinglutely .
 
To feed the body is to feed the soul is to feed the mind is to feed the writing. Though through my month of work I work a lot and hard, I also have my time of meditation, yoga, bike riding, swimming, and enjoyment through libraries and museums and coffeeshops and gardens. Even then, though, all of it seems to lead back to work in some way….so my two week vacations after each month of work is the time to set it all aside, to completely clear the mind of work, to allow space for fresh and new ideas, or the sudden answer in a dream or along a long drive, to the questions I have pondered. For rest. And most certainly for feeding the soul. A time to step back outside of the work….when in it, it seems to swirl around me like I am standing inside the middle of a hurricane, it can get to that place where I don’t seem to grasp what I am doing anymore. My two weeks are a time when it slows….slows…and I can sleep. I can rest. And then I can reach for it again, and I can grasp it. Without even trying.
 
Balance. I have it through the work month, and I don’t do badly at it, but when standing in the middle you can’t get that view from outside….that full picture when you step back; in the past two years I’ve realized just how important my two weeks have become to my work.
 
Even my relationship with Joe and our work schedules have worked perfectly. Perhaps on of the biggest questions we get, and others who we see fail at it, only very few thrive, some just get by. For us, we thrive he and I both in our own ways and our own works. If he were here all the time, interrupting me at around that 5 O’Clock part of the day, I wouldn’t find the dive into my work that I need. I miss him when he’s gone. My bed will feel more empty tonight than I’ll almost bear. I held onto him tightly before he left. We said our sweet nothings. But he and I both know that reality is, I need my time to dive. I submerge myself in what I do. My thoughts begin and don’t stop and I walk by like a ghost, my body is here, but my eye’s show I am elsewhere. I do it even at moments during when he is here and then he gives me my space and my quiet, fixes me a tea and rests it at my side, or walks beside me in nature allowing me my quiet to hear the voices he can not. Not in the “crazy way” though I am sure every writer questions that at some point, I won’t deny my own questioning. But there is always something building. In my mind and my way it’s like a city, architectural, a building of…
 
So, our life and schedules work out, and have for two years now. In the future things will change, they always do. Eventually he will be home for one month and away for one month, rather than 2 weeks and 4. And at some other time that will differ, too. I may have my interruptions, or my space where as to not be interrupted would be needed. And we will adjust. Adjust is an important word I learned around aged thirty when my life seemed then to be thirty years of a constant adjustment. The actual word, of course, known, the term itself unfolded.
 
My writing is as important to him as it is to me. Never have I known the strength and rock like solid love, encouragement, and support. Nor had the sound board I’ve learned to allow him to be. He knows that I’ll receive criticism by many, I have stacks of letters and emails printed out of that and of failure, rejection from the world professionally, from the friends that once were, and from family even beyond what a normal person ever should…and so he is none of those things. Ever. He is love. He will go out on a limb to help me make it happen…..I am sure he would know no limits should I ever allow him to show it.
 
Life will always be an adjustment, it seems more in my control than ever….by not trying to control it, however I don’t sit back and wait for my guide to show up out of thin air, either. I take it like a ball of clay and mold it but without the quickness, the fever to make it happen as I seemed to before, sure to make mistakes by not paying attention….instead I handle it now with the loving tender thoughtful caresses that allow life to slowly emerge. I pay attention. I take my time. I listen.
When the words don’t flow, I sit to write anyway. When my mind is blocked I will take my yoga mat, jump on my bike, and find the perfect tree and find a release to the dam. Notebook there.
I read to write and write to read. I put it in the work. I plan and make my life, my feet are ready for the boat to tilt…and the need to adjust where adjusting is needed. Rather than to try and “be the way it should be” that I have before. I also don’t put ME aside anymore. I never sacrifice my work now as I often did. When I make a wrong move in the clay, I am learning to move it to take shape, refold it in, and begin again, rather than to toss it away and start fresh, and I’ve laid aside my anger and frustrations at my failures but embrace them to fold them into the clay. They are apart of me, and not something to trash, or burn, or to forget. I no longer leave them behind for the sake of someone else’s needs. Not any longer to adjust from, but to adjust with.
 
Maybe that is why it seems to be working a bit more now than ever.
I also finally don’t live life waiting for the storm to come and rock the boat whenever the sea’s have settled. Always in my life…good meant not for long. When bred into you from birth that idea can really drag you down, hold you back from your total ability. You don’t even realize you are just making the same mistakes, like a ripple in the water. Again…and again. Each one larger than the last. Only perhaps with some other form so that for a long time you don’t recognize it as same. Now…good is just life as it should be. And adjust is often more of an adjustment of your footing before the tumble down the mountain, not in total life after the fall.
 
And so….the music is on, the cat waits by the door wondering where he’s gone, I clean my home, and I set out my work to begin tomorrow. Tonight Sasha and I will cuddle in bed and watch some chick flick for our first too quiet and empty night in adjusting to him not being there. Would I change it? I miss him terribly already…but time allows for it. I have a chance to be excited to see him again, we count down the weeks, and then the days. And me being me, yes, after too much I would seek being alone. So it works for us. With it I am allowed to dive. Submerge. To allow the writing to close over my head, feel the coolness of it on my skin, and dive deeply inside of it all to create.
….Until next vacation.
 
#Vacation #VacationIsOver #EndOfVacation #AmWriting #WriterOnTheRoad #Writing #Writer #Relationships #Love
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The Smooth Stuff.

Trying out this newbie.

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Reason: Trying something new and not happy with things I’ve been using.

What I like about it already:
* I can buy it at Target and not do the on-line thing. I am not big on shopping
on-line but also in travel it’s not the most convenient. Target is nation-wide
so pretty accessible.
* I like the recyclable packaging This has been a thing for me more and more,
trying to reduce my waste altogether, or at least use recyclable materials. I
just wish it went a step further but perhaps soon and I will write to them
about it. Any tips of shaving and being friendly to my environment please
feel free to share in the comments. And sorry, I can’t stand being unshaven
so that is not an option. *The pretty colors.

What I already do not like about Harry’s Razor:
* That it is sold and geared toward men without a women’s option or even a women’s sales pitch. At Target it was not in the women’s aisle. Women use mens razors all the time (and visa versa, I have almost always used mens and never satisfied every time I try a women’s 50% less than with any mans razor). Women make up a HUGE portion of sales, with razor sales in Gillette alone making up $14B…think about that. But households with women are also the choices of women who do the majority of the family and house hold shopping. So for many men, they aren’t the ones choosing, even if using. So #1 to boost sales, pitch to both men and women…or take the sex out of the sales pitch altogether is even better. Because there really is nothing stopping a woman from using this razor otherwise. #2. To not lose sales and to ever hope to catch up to Gillette or other companies, take the above advice.

I’ll have more after I open the box and test it out. I am not being paid by either product in this photo, or anyone else….I just like to talk shop. (I am a writer, so therefor I am also never opposed to being paid.) #harrysrazors#Razors #Shaving #Grooming #Products #menandwomen #Gillette#Target #Beauty #Style #Salesandmarketing #Marketing#Recyclablepackaging #Harrys #Writer #WriterforHire

A few #reviews for you. By #men , since this #product is #ForMen ….even though as a #woman I just #bought it for not only myself (and I have more to #shave than a #man , thus creating more #sales ) but I bought one for my #male #partner, too. Making the choice of #purchase in our #household.

Sharpologist Review
#Sharpologist
While DSC gets their razors from Dorco, Harry’s went a different route and bought a $100 million German razor blade factory called Feintechnik to control the quality of production. And last summer they raised more than $75 million in funding, so it’s easy to say they’re in for the long-haul battle of taking on Gillette’s $7.9 billion in sales. Yep, that’s billions with a “B.”

$14 Billion? The U.S. holds somewhere around 400 million, world population about 7 ad a half billion. And many of those in counties not buying razors at all.

And that doesn’t count the non-Gillette razor count!

The Gadgeteer Review
#Thegadgeteer

Observer Review
#Observer

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Writer On Vacation.

This is pretty much me on vacation. Being a writer never leaves you fully turned off….in a good way. Funny writer on Vacation scene.

Though I iPod language currently (French currently) , anything writers podcasts, etc. Political podcasts (Listening to Bernie at the moment even though I am not a Bernie fan) and TEDtalks as well as other along those lines while biking. Hiking I am more quiet, nature and music if any headphones at all, I always take time to listen to just nature.

Running I am music.

Music is an important part of the day. It does many things to the brain and to the spirit. Running is a good time for music for me, as well as cleaning, and cooking. I don’t write too often to music unless in a particular mood and place as well as focus. And I don’t read to music at all. But I love enjoying different types of music through out my day….typically anything from the 1920’s and jazz at dinner making and eating as well as during conversation going more mellow is always a good one. Running I need motivation and uplift and it’s a time for me to enjoy some fun music, it raises my spirits and helps me push farther.

When hiking I prefer a calm and meditative sound that put’s me into deep thought. I will write entire works in my head while hiking. At times, and even most times, I prefer no music at all and will take in the sound of nature, or the thoughts in my head.

When biking I like to learn, it keeps me from being bored, music and cycling don’t seem to totally mix for me, but the learning and listening really does.

When on “vacation” I don’t really work at all. It’s hard to do in an RV with Joe ready to go do something for the day…and really our days are usually pretty tourist jam packed, this coming trip we even have added our biking together (he found a bike!) and plan on A. Getting fit together, B. Quality time together not involving movies or tv. C. Exploring together by bike. D. Being more physically active this year while having fun (as in not through a gym or class but doing more fun entertaining activities).

I do keep up with emails (somewhat).

And I do end up jotting a notebook full of notes. I also read, catch up on my magazine and journal readings on my nook or in hard copy (I still have to read Texas Monthly hard copy, I have The Atlantic Yoga, wellness, Vegetarian, NYT news, New Yorker, Garden and Gun, and about ten other journals at a time, and about ten other magazines as well as about four newspapers running at a time (some just the Sunday and some daily) I also often have a book going on there, this vacation I will be reading a book started through Google when they began taking care of their employees health in alternative ways, I had come across the info several times but read about it in more depth in my Living Well on the Road by Linden Schaffer, the book this week on my nook I am ready to dive into is by Author Chade-Meng Tan and the book is Search Inside Yourself. I just finished the Linden Schaffer book and will be starting The Sleep Revolution by Arianna Huffington after the Chen-Meng Tan book in those categories.

I’ll also have a novel to read (just finished In Other Words by Jhumpa Lahiri and Getting Naked for Money by Edie Jarolim and am starting A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara and then Peaks on the Horizon by Charlie Carrol). Reading IS a part of being a writer. I defiantly look forward to some lazy hot afternoon time with a book in hand.

I always check out and update a bit on what is going on in the book world everyday, not just vacation but that continues. And I often spend a little time organizing on my laptop as well during vacation. So a little work still always happens.

Perhaps I’ll work/vacation with a Bloody Mary in hand.

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Almost Vacation Time.

IMG_5880_Fotor_FotorToday is my last pre-vacation day.

The way I work is four weeks on, two weeks off. In those two weeks, Joe is home and we travel, move (our home on wheels) and vacation pretty hard (not hard as in like liquor but sites, hikes, foods, naps, stuff like that.)
Prior to starting vacation I always do a deep clean, fresh laundry and grocery lists as well as plan out travel, ideas, To Do stuff and all that good stuff before J arrives home and before I clear my work space for the coming weeks. But I also lay out my work for the next month so that when I start I am able to sit down and review and get to work right away rather than figure it out then.

Now is when I have the momentum of the work I’ve been doing in the previous month to easily roll off if, know where I am ending and where I need to pick it back up. I don’t always have projects finished but sometimes projects to start back on after a break. The vacation really gives me a needed break and clears my head.

I end up jotting down notes and filling with fresh inspiration the entire time. I also end up stepping back and seeing where my work has gone and is headed. During my four weeks in work my head is buried pretty down into work and I am very focused, often working about 18 hour days.

And where I am also often depends on what I do during that month. So, today and tomorrow I will wrap up altogether and be ready to rest, but be set up and prepared to come back to it and jump right back in.


#writing #Amwriting #Writeratwork #Writer #success #Goals #schedule#Workandtravel #Vacation #Rest #takingabreak #WriterMood #focused#linedup #Achieve #Boss #likeaboss #Career

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Book Recommendations.

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Need some recommendations:

It’s a book club thing.

Name one book which you would recommend for a Democratic left or 3rd party side to read regarding and IN THE VIEW OF the Republican right, conservative side?

And

Name one book which you would recommend for a Republican right, conservative side to read regarding and IN THE VIEW OF the Democratic left or 3rd party side.

Also, if you have a great rec for a 3rd book, give me a regarding and IN THE VIEW OF strictly a third Party.

And last, if you have them to add, the Alt-right (Nazi), White Supremacists, KKK, and the Terroristic-this can be ISIS, Taliban, American radicals, rioters of all over the world and for all things, Abortion clinic bombers, 9/11 related, Oklahoma Bombing related, Sandy Elementary School related, Vaccine vs non-Vaccs related, Pro-Gun related, anti-gun or Gun-Control related. And war of any kind and time and place related.

And one more time. If you have any book reeks relating to anything to do with economics…feel free to throw down. Please note the category your rec is for.

These can be dated in history and current at any time, they don’t have to cover ALL, every issue, or be 100% eye-opening, way of understanding everything in the today (though that would be great) they can be memoir/autobiography/biography of one person or of one particular issue. Etc. It does not have to be a “Make this person see where I am coming from and get it all” book. but…a good conversation and debate of course would be great. Learning, knowledge, understanding, comparison. Etc. And if you have two perfect opposite views of the same exact subject…throw them in, too. They can be of politics, of politicians, of a politicalized issue (including say, Science, because even issues which we wish not to be politicalized, are, so let’s not lie to ourselves). If you’d like to include your thoughts, talking points, questions and pondering with the rec, please feel free.

Thanks #Books #BookClub

#BookReccs #BookRecommendations #Reading #Recommendations #Book #BarnesAndNoble #IndieBookstores #Libararies #Librarians #Politics #Politicians #worldEvents #Currentevents  #Democrat #Republican #ThirdParty #politic #politicsbook #Books #BookClub

#BookReccs #BookRecommendations #Reading #Recommendations #Book #BarnesAndNoble #IndieBookstores #Libararies #Librarians #Politics #Politicians #worldEvents #Currentevents #Writing #Coffee #WriterAtWork #Desk #Writer #writerlife #writercommunity #reader #readers  #readerscommunity #politic #politicsbook #views

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Don’t tell me Happy fur-Mom Day.

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Ahh, that lovely cusp of society that feels that if you are over 23 and unmarried, much less an independent think for yourself woman….WITH a career! Gasp! Lord, 2017 and e’rything.

Those video’s and well wishing your friends give you to not leave you feeling left out on Mother’s Day.

I’ve been a mother, once, for 28 days. I’d be a mother to a teenager today if those 28 days had continued. I went through a time, later, when I was married and tried desperately to get pregnant. Each month I felt like a failure seeing that splash of red. I am now drawn to paintings with splashes of red. I think it’s a call of my womanhood. I went through the feelings of a bad wife, a failure as a woman. Not full. Useless. Broken. I hadn’t even wanted children of my own womb, but he had, and now that I couldn’t, it was all that I thought about.

I began the adopting process which I had always wanted. The two were not the same, one no lesser or great than the other. And then divorce happened. And thirty happened. I exclaimed I am woman! I can do it by myself! And then, my own mother said the best she’s ever said to me “Peg, I don’t regret any of you. But had I made it to thirty without, I would have kept on going. You are not making a life for yourself, or struggling to figure yourself out. You have a very set life style, you HAVE an actual lifestyle, wether you realize it or not. And it doesn’t really fit a child. Think about if you really want one, or if you are trying to prove to society that you can have one.” Or something like that.

And then I realized, over the course of following years, that she was right. I could admit it. And not only that…I couldn’t actually imagine my life with a child. Well…as a woman we all have those fleeting moments when we could, I won’t lie. But over all and mostly….I didn’t find my friends babies any more than cute…for them. And good for them! I finally felt…without feeling jealous or ashamed. Or both. And now, I feel content, and settled, and happy. If the Gods sent a child into my life, my life would adjust and it would be meant. But motherhood is no longer, nor ever will BE my planned or even wish for journey.

However….so many women today still have that society pressure, as well as their own natural instinct and urge. Their own wants.

But then we become over 23 and educated, and successful, and independent, and somehow happy with our Here & Now, until we find our meant to be. And we have careers which we love…but society now sees those women, with a dog or a cat….as someone filling a void, as someone who perhaps Can’t. Or who just hasn’t found the right partner or or or…..

And so their pet must be like a baby, for the baby they don’t have or can’t have, or haven’t been given. Society forgets the Yet.  Even when these women are so young yet…young enough to say “Don’t have a baby…yet.” But society doesn’t want to give you a yet, they expect you to be miserable now, unfulfilled, trying to curb a craving with other than. Wanting more…now. Because….how can you be a woman, with an education, living on your own, independent, with a career, doing what you love to do and have a dog or a cat but perhaps no husband…even if maybe an occasional date, occasional lover, occasional boyfriend? Somehow….you must not be quite complete…even if for you, you are…so VERY complete…for the Now. But just not quite to your Yet. Yet. Because though you are not 23, you are not dead and done.

My dog goes on a leash, my child would not so much (even if I make the jokes). My own cat is not enough to be my ‘baby’ to fill some void…though I love her greatly and might even squeal when I come home “My Baaaaabbbbbbbyyyyyyy!” I don’t actually mean it exactly so.

Though the video’s are perhaps adorable and make me smile….and when Joe said happy birthday to my kitten mom, I knew the way he meant it (very much a joke about how our cat owns us more than anything) and I know him. He knows she is not a filling to a void at all. He knows me. But he knows a pet is not because I can’t…or to fill the space until a yet for me either. If anybody else said it to me, I would know they don’t mean it the same way he did. There is a difference. Also, hopefully, my child would not poop in my neighbors yard. Though that is always a possibility.