New years.

In the new year of 2013 it’s a year of Health. Mind, Body and Soul
Hell, I even throw in finances.
With 2013 comes Elimination , such as:
Coffee ( which for me comes with a truck load of cream and sugar ) My milk consumption alone ( though it was milk and creamer) brought to approximately 116480 grams of calories a year, 6,656 in fats and that’s not to say I will completely not drink milk though I am moving toward a lesser dairy products lifestyle…but in all of that and in one elimination of life I’ll add…for my health less of but when I do it will be Organic milk, grass fed and once years ago I did un-pasteurized which was great actually. Also I will use more ( organic) goats milk and less cow’s milk…and when I can I will sub Almond and rice milk and coconut milk.
Sugars had me at literally around 50 pounds of sugar…pure sugar in my coffee only! A year! With diabetes in my family need I say more? And talk about between the caffeine, cream and sugar where the weight right in my middle is coming from. As an elimination this is also adding to my 2013 in dollar amounts of savings. Somewhere at $130 bucks at least. I think I will put that amount in a jar each week and buy myself towards a massage or something amazing instead.
In my thoughts of over indulgences I realized my butter ( blame it on the French in me and my love of Julia Childs) . I use over three times the amount that is suggested…and as everyone knows knows a manufacturers suggested price is typically three times more than one needs…..wow! I felt my organs tighten just punching the numbers into a calculator. I’ve started using the suggested serving amount ( baby steps) and realize I seriously don’t need the extra extra extra. This here saves me ( and my heart , again heart disease in my family as well and my now over thirty year old doesn’t stay flat as it once did belly) 29,952 a year in fats ( well about two quarters of that at least but I will also dive into alternatives to butter…such as my favorite egg is soft boiled…eliminating the butter for a fried or scrambled egg) . 166,400 in calories ! And the pluses? Well there is the money of course…yes, this…is motivation always…I am one of those two birds with one stone type of people. But on top of that is my health, my weight ( does this mean I can exercise more?) and even my skin is showing a difference…for the good that is. I am also going to have fun this year playing with many oils and expanding my pallet and cooking knowledge.
In other eliminations I am doing for 2013 are some I have attempted, and failed forgotten about and simply given up on is Plastic bag use. I do pretty well typically but noticed that recently it’s been a build up back to it somehow. So…I figure most of my shopping trips ring me around 40 plastic bags a month meaning 480 plastic bags I will eliminate from my year of 2013 and if I keep it up then 9,600 in 20 years.
On I have done better on but not altogether has been straw use. I mean…with juices at home I can do pretty well and it’s habit with a juice at a public place and smoothies I have purchased a plastic cup with a plastic reusable straw . For me this has been in my past about 1,825 straws in a years time, 36,500 in 20 years time. My newest one is to go cups. I will use my reusable to go cup for cold and my reusable travel mug for hot. For me this can reach double amount ( hot drinks) as the straws. This is my giving back to the Earth I live on.
I long ago and have ever rarely done TV , thus eliminating TV to better use my time isn’t a big thing for me…but F.B….oh F.B. I won’t lie. I love Facebook. I am not going to lie and fool myself into thinking I’ll give it up. I love seeing the photos of my nephews and I use it in my own marketing, writing, research and whatnot. Heck I am simply a Facebooker….However I noticed my time spent on it creeps up and up and….and my reading pile stands untouched because I’ll relax and begin reading FB on my phone rather than picking up a piece of reading material. I have limited myself now…in various ways and I have a timeline to get through a certain sizeable stack of reading materials.
Also…healthy mind.
Also…a little less “ I’m too tired to do…” and a little more time to bike, run and swim again…make the best of my island time!

Angel.

Her fingers fly and she writes …about her heart, her life her passion she dreams and her dreams become words in black and white and from behind her mask she emerges….from walking in the mist , the fog to
 
Fear….she is shaking and she holds her breath….then breaths faster and faster .
The music that plays in her head is fast and furious and her thoughts can barely keep up with her heart beat… as she types , her fingers flying over the keys the thoughts tumble and jumble and she try’s to keep them straight and her words become an orchestra in the dance that is her life….
 
 
She walks into the room…glides more so really, her graceful ways and quiet manner take a stand….demand attention …She sheds her robe…and all she wears is a wisp like smoke…the mask comes off…and she drops it aside …the window open is where she stands and she looks out over the world, her city of lights and angels of stone……the tears fall freely and she lets the wind fall through her hair…caressing her like the lover she most fears.
The orchestra follows her movements and she raises her hand out…and point out her toe and dances….graceful she glides and twirls across the floor…her movements telling her story…of her fear and of her sadness….the mask lays on the floor at her feet and her toes just barely miss it as she spins past and around…her arms flung out ….she dances with the wind…the lover that comforts her in all her…loneliness….the music gets fiercer , louder…faster and her movements follow along…the wind picks up as a storm rolls in and she dances…dances and dances….then you see her…really in writing…the girl in the corner….as the girl dances in the bare room…they don’t see each other…they don’t notice and they don’t even exist to each other…one girl…writes with a fiery tenseness , lost in the passion of her story and her words…her face shows a straight concentration so …intent….her fingers fly…simply fly…..she shows no emotion….her face of stone…like the angels in the city…hidden in their gardens…always in their meaning…they speak to her but of what she does not know ….she can’t hear and she try’s and try’s….
Her fingers though…tell their story…across the pages of white the words in black they are not her own….and they flow….
The dancer is weeping…she spins and spins now with the faster louder music and the mask at her feet looks up as though with empty eye’s ….much like her own soul…the angels dance with her…the wind they are and they lift her….take her heart and leave her bleeding…but at want for more….
She runs…her breath comes out in steam…the music follows this one…she runs from….and yet to…what she doesn’t know…the beast behind her breaths upon her neck…breath hot and red if it where a color…she runs to keep out of reach and yet runs to keep up and to reach…for???
Her side aches…she wants to stop so badly , she can’t breath…her breath is in gasps and her face is in tears….her fear is bursting out of her chest and she see’s the angels faces she passes…everywhere she see’s them and yet she…can not feel them ….at first their eye’s are simply sad….and astonished as she runs past them….flying just ahead of the hot breathing beast ….and then their arms are reaching out…they are crying red tears of blood…and she knows…she knows ….but is she about to lose her ground to the beast behind her…or do they cry for the destination of which she is running? This is what she does not know but she must…she must continue to run…can’t stop…can’t breath and her legs scream out in pain…her lungs seize up and her tears come falling, making it all the harder . She fears her unknown destination…will she be safe? Will she make it…will it be right when she gets there? But she can’t stop…the beast behind her, she has no choice regardless…and then…the angels are crying…screaming out to her but she cannot hear their words…are they warning her of the beast coming down upon her or of what may lie ahead? The tree’s weep red now as she passes….and then angels are running , arms out stretched, toward her…but she fears they are not really there to protect her any longer…and she knows that they can’t if they wanted to…and she runs on into the mist…the unknown and the shadows of ahead….because though it might not be right…she can’t stop for what is behind….
 
Her only escape has always been ….and today is no different but today she is not sure that she can escape….she rides the red beast,
el demonio que te mata…the devil that kills you, the devil that will kill her…his white main flying in her face…as if to wipe away her tears…tears of sadness…or are they fear? Or are they anger…or madness? Behind her the storm follows and she try’s to keep ahead…yelling to spur him on…the golden fields are what lay ahead and she tries to reach them but they move away farther and farther….and the storm envelopes them, surrounds them , wraps up around them and the horse screams a scream that tears her heart out…and she knows that she has lost this race….he goes down , legs lost beneath him…and she gives up and goes to….she feels his weight crush upon her and her last breath being taken up in the storm…and she opens her eye’s to see the gray mad sky’s and the wind around her and her last breath is taken in as the horse screams out long and high , a scream that shakes the angels of the heavens and the devils of hell, one…. more…time…
The mask lays with empty eye’s…her toes now bleed…and she falls down to her knees….her hair covers her face and her hands meet the ground and no longer…does the music make a sound….
The girl in the candlelit corner stops writing…her hands hover over the key’s…and she stares at them for a moment, reveling in their stillness…..and she hears the silence in her head….Finally, her mind quiets.
The angel in black is ahead of her…his wings spread open wide….she can’t see his face, the unknown that she runs towards….and he holds out his hands…she runs straight into his arms and collapses….the beast behind her disappears in a red cloud of smoke….until all that is there is the wet and rainy street, empty and reflecting the lights….
She is pinned underneath the dead horse…and she doesn’t cry…she just stares up and watches the storm that surrounds her….and is lifted…lifted to the sky it seems…she doesn’t understand the words she hears that it’s going to be ok….her body is lifted towards the sky to which she stairs, the wind slows…slows and stops and the sun shines…and she closes her eye’s….
The wind stills, the storm die’s and the music stops…the horse no longer screams, her toes no longer dance and her lungs no longer breath… and her hands no longer type….finally….she rests….
 

What I wish to accomplish in California as of now.

What I wish to accomplish in California

1.6.2012
Dear California,
Hello there sunshine…it’s been awhile and soon we are to meet again. I came to you a girl and left somewhere in between….but come back to you as a woman.
Our last relationship was fantastic I must say…I couldn’t change a thing about it ( well, the ex-husband but surely not the man and the love and experience itself) and we had some very fun times. There aren’t actually any regrets. I think our dance went well and scored high.
But when I come back, I come back with a plan of action. A goal in mind and that is something I wandered through you before completely without letting your Santa Ana winds send me wherever they meant.
There are a few things. Before I come to you I will have a job and a temporary ( not past a few months) location set up for living . I will have accomplished a lot and likely be in need of a second…or third wind of the year. You will be that wind yourself I imagine. Before coming to you I will have a few bikes, a jeep, my dog and a camera and a new laptop ready to fill up with my writings.
I will have sat down and figured out a bit of a sketch for the first twelve months I will be with you .
But even now I have a plan…a bit of one and one that will over time build and change but for now this helps me have focus on a few things, remember as I often forget things in my busy mind .
When I come to you. I want to first settle into work and life. Get back to walking on your beaches, running in your mountains and re-charge on my health and workout plans of the year. Settle my pup in and re-acquaint myself with area restaurants to haunt with my dog at my feet on the patio’s of many and my book in hand.
I want to have camera ready as I have lost much of this part of you over time.
Want to gather with old friends and meet new people. New inspirations for new projects…that’s a big thing…what’s next?
I want to search for an A-Frame house, meet inspiration for Small footsteps and build the second part of the foundation of small footsteps in CA .
I want to enter the art community of CA and explore much, introduce a lot and be a part of and write for.
I want to start a fresh list of writing projects.
I want to begin thinking of 2014 and what it will bring.
I want to visit gardens and garden myself and learn of much that grows there and spot the many purple flowers and drive among the poppies to the beach.
I want to play and dabble my writing in the world of entertainment…as in film.
I want to find my A-frame, work, save and buy and remodel.
I want to go with architecture in mind this time…as it wasn’t quite last time. Art Deco excites me!
I wish to camp a LOT and travel and explore the vineyards.
I know I am slightly vague. It’s too far ahead to know all of my writings and projects and I will have much finished before I leave my island. This will change with time….but for now I have an idea. I want to take advantage…not live to work and work to live and get lost in the shuffle nor live where I am unhappy or in a cheap dark it works for me place…it MUST be fun and perfect and interesting and over time might be a few different try out’s . Do I want a house like my Cerritos house with it’s fruit tree’s and courtyard and burbur carpets and bright kitchen or do I want my loft apartment in the midst of it all downtown and hot tub right there every night?
Or to try something completely different? The choices….
And sailboats? A-Frame houses?
We shall see and then? On to Paris!

A Walk on my island.

When describing Galveston I can best do so by “ An island off the coast of Texas that steps into the Gulf Of Mexico where Hurricanes have happened and communities have rebuilt. An Island that ahs a Down Town District full of top of the line restaurants such as Rudy & Paco’s ( the most elite , strict dress code and all) , Gumbo Bar for some amazing Gumbo, Salt Water Grill with the worlds best BBQ Redfish over grits and my absolute favorite Lobster Bisque and Shrimp/lobster tacos lunch special for only $10!

There is MOD Coffeeshop where you feel as though you’ve stepped right into a movie set, comfortable atmosphere and a wide variety of friendly and talkative people. Often playing live family friendly and free music on the weekends . There are a multitude of Art Galleries to walk from one to the next to the next here…From The Artist Lofts often held special events to Art at MOD to The Jennifer Peck Gallery to The Artists Residency to DesignWorks Gallery and Elizabeth Punches Studio among more…so many more! Then often you’ll walk into town to find ArtWalk Weekend happening…a night of elite happiness , toasts of wine and new art in all the galleries, Live Art of street corners, music everywhere and then…yes there is more, among the souvenir shops and restaurants and art galleries there are the many live music venues of all kinds to meet just your perfect tastes from Club 21 to Yaga’s for fun dancing to Vanishing Point for a Hipster feel….and still…Down Town Galveston’s worth and Value continues to the beautiful Architecture r to enjoy for free, many picture taking opportunities and a beautiful Harbor to walk along and enjoy lunch at as well…or even a boat tour to see our dolphins!

And I’ve yet to mention the beaches…remember now…we live on an island. Beaches, bike riding, fishing, sailing…

What I wish to accomplish in Galveston

2013

Dear Galveston,

I came here with a purpose. Hell, I came here with a husband, a great job I loved, a husband who had a passion for what he did as well as a great talent, a plan for family and children and inner city self sustaining and restoring a beautiful old building and living less and less dependant upon the government. I came here years younger and long hair full of dreadlocks and three big huge dogs.

I don’t have a single one of those things now. My husband lost his passion and I lost my husband and with it the entire vision of family, children and even our inner city self sustaining plan. I lost my amazing job and I lost two of my three dogs and eventually even my full head of dreadlocks as well as I have lost some years.

A few years have gone by since I landed on this island to plant my roots and in the time instead of planting and growing I have remained a seed and tumbled in the wind so it seems.

I’ll admit I have gained a lot of knowledge. Much of it what I can survive. Much of it an experience of new people I have met, new friends I have made and new experiences in different places and kinds of living which has been pretty fun. I have taken jobs I never thought I would have….I am glad for the experience. I can now make a frickin amazing latte and learned the art and the poetry of coffee. I have learned a different type of hard work that I can do anywhere. I have overcome fears.  I have gotten back into the business end of things .  I have also lost much of myself…and in some ways I have gained myself.

I hit thirty head on with no husband, no children and not even a home that wasn’t more than a twelve month lease . Rambling in odd pay the bill jobs and losing the time to do anything I really wanted. Staying up mostly nights to write and write and…somehow hang on to just a tiny thread . I did grow, I have aged and I have become much less a girl and much more a woman.

I have done many fun things but realize that I don’t take full advantage of my island…that if I left today there would be regret’s…many “ I wish I had…” and there has been much I’ve done and…am bored of. This island is small. There is a lot to do but there is only so much. However, I haven’t accomplished what I came here to do and I am not ready to leave without regret’s.

So, I have made some lists…as I do…lists for my lists for my lists. But they keep me in perspective of life and so…

Galveston.

I have a long list on gray paper written in black marker on my wall now from floor to ceiling of what I wish to accomplish in 2013.  But…not all of that list necessarily has to do with you. In fact nearly none of it…however there is, My Mini Manhattan Island. The Blog and in writing this I will experience much of Galveston Island.

I wish to build my foundation as a writer on this island.

I wish to complete and publish my first novel on this island.

I wish to work on small Footsteps and get the foundation for that laid as well in the next twelve months, eventually basing it on this island. This is big…this is time consuming and must be well thought and laid out…a plan complete before even diving into such a challenge.

I wish to build my furniture business based on this island.

I wish to bike ride from one end to another. I wish to bike ride to surfside and back.

I wish to bike ride the national park trails I have yet to do.

I wish to get a camera and take many fun beautiful and amazing photos of this life.

I wish to swim the waters  daily March through October and surf as well.

I wish to get back in shape biking , swimming and running on the beach…remembering each and everyday that I live on an island.

I wish to watch many sun’s rise and many sun’s set on this island…most of which while I float in the waters.

I wish to complete the Ally Loft , photograph it and use it as a part of blogs and resumes.

I wish to begin doing more with buying and selling furniture.

I wish to help in and be a part of the art world here. I am in parts of paintings and am the painting. I have modeled photo shoots and wish to design shoots in these alleys and on these rooftops.

I wish to write and couple my writing with paintings in a series for a show.

I wish to get on top of my finances and ahead of it all. I wish to fully write about car-free island living to it’s fullest.

I wish to take many trips in this time to Houston for Art and food and writing of it all…as well as Austin and maybe some other places as well as some bike rides along the way.

I wish to learn the guitar to help me in writing my own songs.

I wish to slowly build my book and reading collections from this island. Soak up knowledge of literature from those here sitting at the coffeeshop.

I wish to learn to fully eat and live local. And of course write abut it all.

I wish to get back in shape and get back to caring about my health .

I wish to visit sugar land and my family more and teach and learn from those around me. I wish to build a Japanese style garden out of my courtyard. Herb growth and all for food to make my own pesto’s and learn to cook more new things. I wish to learn and try different cleaning tourniquets.

I wish to ride my bike and visit the sailboats more…and begin sailing more again as well as learning to sail better, lessons? And learn more about boats themselves , setting the foundation for my own future with a sailboat.  I wish to take the opportunity to build my bike collection…at least my yellow Columbia and a good English roadster  cargo bike…something with baskets would be fantastic.

I wish to see and discover more of the architecture of Galveston , inside more houses and buildings. See behind all of these closed doors.

For the next ten months,

I’m your’s Galveston