A month of a look inside the Feminist movement…where is the femininity anymore?

Have we gone too far?

 

With the feminist movement I am wholly there for equal rights…and even women in the work place. I like the blended home and the shared responsibilities. The more involved dad and so forth but…

 

There are some places that I wonder and feel that we’ve gone too far.

 

The blended lines of in and out of home jobs. In some relationships ( a whole other post) where once there stood defined lines of  He: brings home the families needs of financial support, mows the lawn, buys the vehicles, cleans the garage, disciplines the harsh charges a mother has earlier decided is a child’s punishment.

She: Cleans and keeps a good home ( paid for with no question, supplied for with no question by Him) feeds the family (with provided necessities by Him) Nurtures the children.

 

Now it’s often a fight of “ do we blend our money? Do you pay the bills and I pay for the fun? Do we even know what’s in each other’s bank accounts? Or…does he hold control over it all ?

 

She works all day and comes home and is expected to….what? Cook, bathe the kids, clean, do the home work, make the lunches? Doctors appointments, kids school visits….how is this decided?

 

Is She simply just working harder but for less? I mean perhaps…when does she even have time for spending money on herself and does her money really benefit their home or do they live outside their means no matter what?

 

Is He picking up the slack at home? Does he come home and split the evening chores with her? Does she walk in to find him stirring spaghetti sauce in the kitchen, kids doing their homework at the table until he tells them to set it for dinner?

 

That would be ideal wouldn’t it? In the two person working household. But…is it REALLY the case?

 

And does he still make more money? Does she make more money? And does money become the fight?

 

Fights in a home:

Money

Sex

Children

 

Right?

 

So…now you have two incredibly too tired people…after an eight hour work day ( and a nine hour day really, plus a commute) dinner, kids, cleaning….who has the time for all that? The energy? Does the couple…and the marriage…suffer?

 

Racing around for birthday cake making…good food making and feeding. Healthy shopping choices and paying attention to prices rather than buying here and now on credit for convenience over practicality. More and more video games and the latest players for the built in baby sitter because…we are just too tired to care?

 

Is this the case?

 

When is the last time, as a mom…that you baked and took cupcakes to your child’s school class for their birthday?

 

When is the last time dad wasn’t too exhausted to grill on the weekend while mom wasn’t too exhausted to make the potato salad and invite the neighbors over? ( neighbors and BBQ’s and kids playing together…that’s another post) .

 

I believe in equal rights…voting, a woman’s opinion and even working outside the home…but in doing so…are these marriages, couples, families , relationships and people…defining the lines of roles? Are we really needing the money for the jobs we hate ( we don’t all work our dream job) ?.  Are we working to live above our means though we don’t get to even enjoy it? ( Another post there too.)

 

 

What it is for this year.

In the new year of 2013 it’s a year of Health. Mind, Body and Soul
Hell, I even throw in finances.
With 2013 comes Elimination , such as:
Coffee ( which for me comes with a truck load of cream and sugar ) My milk consumption alone ( though it was milk and creamer) brought to approximately 116480 grams of calories a year, 6,656 in fats and that’s not to say I will completely not drink milk though I am moving toward a lesser dairy products lifestyle…but in all of that and in one elimination of life I’ll add…for my health less of but when I do it will be Organic milk, grass fed and once years ago I did un-pasteurized which was great actually. Also I will use more ( organic) goats milk and less cow’s milk…and when I can I will sub Almond and rice milk and coconut milk.
Sugars had me at literally around 50 pounds of sugar…pure sugar in my coffee only! A year! With diabetes in my family need I say more? And talk about between the caffeine, cream and sugar where the weight right in my middle is coming from. As an elimination this is also adding to my 2013 in dollar amounts of savings. Somewhere at $130 bucks at least. I think I will put that amount in a jar each week and buy myself towards a massage or something amazing instead.
In my thoughts of over indulgences I realized my butter ( blame it on the French in me and my love of Julia Childs) . I use over three times the amount that is suggested…and as everyone knows knows a manufacturers suggested price is typically three times more than one needs…..wow! I felt my organs tighten just punching the numbers into a calculator. I’ve started using the suggested serving amount ( baby steps) and realize I seriously don’t need the extra extra extra. This here saves me ( and my heart , again heart disease in my family as well and my now over thirty year old doesn’t stay flat as it once did belly) 29,952 a year in fats ( well about two quarters of that at least but I will also dive into alternatives to butter…such as my favorite egg is soft boiled…eliminating the butter for a fried or scrambled egg) . 166,400 in calories ! And the pluses? Well there is the money of course…yes, this…is motivation always…I am one of those two birds with one stone type of people. But on top of that is my health, my weight ( does this mean I can exercise more?) and even my skin is showing a difference…for the good that is. I am also going to have fun this year playing with many oils and expanding my pallet and cooking knowledge.
In other eliminations I am doing for 2013 are some I have attempted, and failed forgotten about and simply given up on is Plastic bag use. I do pretty well typically but noticed that recently it’s been a build up back to it somehow. So…I figure most of my shopping trips ring me around 40 plastic bags a month meaning 480 plastic bags I will eliminate from my year of 2013 and if I keep it up then 9,600 in 20 years.
On I have done better on but not altogether has been straw use. I mean…with juices at home I can do pretty well and it’s habit with a juice at a public place and smoothies I have purchased a plastic cup with a plastic reusable straw . For me this has been in my past about 1,825 straws in a years time, 36,500 in 20 years time. My newest one is to go cups. I will use my reusable to go cup for cold and my reusable travel mug for hot. For me this can reach double amount ( hot drinks) as the straws. This is my giving back to the Earth I live on.
I long ago and have ever rarely done TV , thus eliminating TV to better use my time isn’t a big thing for me…but F.B….oh F.B. I won’t lie. I love Facebook. I am not going to lie and fool myself into thinking I’ll give it up. I love seeing the photos of my nephews and I use it in my own marketing, writing, research and whatnot. Heck I am simply a Facebooker….However I noticed my time spent on it creeps up and up and….and my reading pile stands untouched because I’ll relax and begin reading FB on my phone rather than picking up a piece of reading material. I have limited myself now…in various ways and I have a timeline to get through a certain sizeable stack of reading materials.
Also…healthy mind.
Also…a little less “ I’m too tired to do…” and a little more time to bike, run and swim again…make the best of my island time!

So far and so good.

It’s been a good long ride….
Ok well, it sounded good. But has nothing to do with what I’m writing.
Two months into the new year and it’s been a good one , however. I have my ally loft coming along ….a desk finally for a writer! And a little writing nook area where I have pinned on grey craft paper in black magic marker to the wall six feet high my to do list ,accomplishments and projects for the year 2013 . I have quotes and inspiring pieces of writing, mostly essays. I have a book list, an inspiration list and other items, I have upcoming new added projects and more on the wall. I have stacks on my desk to be read…to do…to file away…and in the middle my purple notebook laptop sits underneath the little black desk lamp. Newfoundland dog at my feet when I write.
The kitchen is getting there too…my newest pride being a stainless steal prep tables I picked up from a closing café.
And more. I even began…began slightly though it is…the painting of the baseboards.
Work is good, I work sixty four hours a week at one job…eight hours for Mr. Jones and then there is school and writing…and in there cleaning and decorating and walking the dog and eating and even a shower or two once in awhile…ok ok every day. I also , now that the weather is shaping back up after our two harsh cruel weeks of winter here on the island, have been back to bike riding with my little yellow 1970’s and it’s new ( used for a buck or two at a garage sale) basket on the handle bars that makes my grocery getting flow with much ease. Now if the headwinds could calm…
And cooking, movies and hanging with my friends or B…it’s been a good year thus far and keeps looking up.
I am happy and proud of my friends in their own accomplishments in their own projects…a painter in her studio and a curator making art happen on the island among more…I feel engulfed in positive forward movement and art as well…feed the mind. Feed the body. Feed the soul…feed the culture.
You’ll see a lot from me this year…and there’s news too! Moving back to California in October! Oh yes yes…much will unfold in the upcoming months…and times…and moments of space.