Have we gone too far?
With the feminist movement I am wholly there for equal rights…and even women in the work place. I like the blended home and the shared responsibilities. The more involved dad and so forth but…
There are some places that I wonder and feel that we’ve gone too far.
The blended lines of in and out of home jobs. In some relationships ( a whole other post) where once there stood defined lines of He: brings home the families needs of financial support, mows the lawn, buys the vehicles, cleans the garage, disciplines the harsh charges a mother has earlier decided is a child’s punishment.
She: Cleans and keeps a good home ( paid for with no question, supplied for with no question by Him) feeds the family (with provided necessities by Him) Nurtures the children.
Now it’s often a fight of “ do we blend our money? Do you pay the bills and I pay for the fun? Do we even know what’s in each other’s bank accounts? Or…does he hold control over it all ?
She works all day and comes home and is expected to….what? Cook, bathe the kids, clean, do the home work, make the lunches? Doctors appointments, kids school visits….how is this decided?
Is She simply just working harder but for less? I mean perhaps…when does she even have time for spending money on herself and does her money really benefit their home or do they live outside their means no matter what?
Is He picking up the slack at home? Does he come home and split the evening chores with her? Does she walk in to find him stirring spaghetti sauce in the kitchen, kids doing their homework at the table until he tells them to set it for dinner?
That would be ideal wouldn’t it? In the two person working household. But…is it REALLY the case?
And does he still make more money? Does she make more money? And does money become the fight?
Fights in a home:
So…now you have two incredibly too tired people…after an eight hour work day ( and a nine hour day really, plus a commute) dinner, kids, cleaning….who has the time for all that? The energy? Does the couple…and the marriage…suffer?
Racing around for birthday cake making…good food making and feeding. Healthy shopping choices and paying attention to prices rather than buying here and now on credit for convenience over practicality. More and more video games and the latest players for the built in baby sitter because…we are just too tired to care?
Is this the case?
When is the last time, as a mom…that you baked and took cupcakes to your child’s school class for their birthday?
When is the last time dad wasn’t too exhausted to grill on the weekend while mom wasn’t too exhausted to make the potato salad and invite the neighbors over? ( neighbors and BBQ’s and kids playing together…that’s another post) .
I believe in equal rights…voting, a woman’s opinion and even working outside the home…but in doing so…are these marriages, couples, families , relationships and people…defining the lines of roles? Are we really needing the money for the jobs we hate ( we don’t all work our dream job) ?. Are we working to live above our means though we don’t get to even enjoy it? ( Another post there too.)