There are five hundred things that I want to do when I grow up. And only 365 days in a year or twenty four hours in a day and I am already thirty three years old. But I am superwoman and I make things happen. THAT is my talent.
I won’t get to all of them. I will accomplish many and I will keep adding more to the list.
I don’t do just one thing, painting myself into any corners or closing any doors. I don’t pigeon hole myself into one skill because I wish to do much and a bit of it all. Writing, creating stage and visual performances and art. Films, documentaries, and more because I can pull it all together like the puppeteer or the conductor of an orchestra. In fact, I dream of that as well. I manage to pull together those individuals with those single talents and direct the marching band that creates the whole.
I put image to words and ideas into the world. I write the words that tell the stories in my own head and somehow touch you exactly…exactly where they need to for you in the here and now so much so that you wonder for a moment when I was inside your head. I connect your heart to my words through my woven image in whatever shape I form. And in that, I hope that your heart sings.
I am a busy kind of single woman. I do a lot and in the process what I do is hard to explain…but eventually I can show.
The meaning of a ” Kind Of Single Lady” is that I am single, most of the time, and in my thirty three years when I’ve begun this journey in 2015 , been in and out of relationships and even two marriages. Only ice cream ” gets me” or “completes me” so it seems.
But I have not given up on relationship and love either. I am cynical and logical and smart and yet….I can feel the broom of a good sweeping off of my feet as I’ve not yet let go that romance and love exists. In fact I know that it exists well, it just hasn’t existed long and well with just one for me thus far. I can’t say no or never. If I did today, I’d be in a marriage tomorrow. Such is my life.
I am not too independent or strong or proud of a woman to not at times admit the desire of a mans arms around me. Or a large strong hand holding mine or a sweet and sweaty love making or…just “that person” nearby over coffee in the mornings sweet silence.
At the same time , I am also the person to have written Being an Artists Lover, “When you are in the shadows of my art. But never the feature” as well as Lines in The Sand “Lines in the sand can be scattered. We draw our lines, our boundaries with people, but those lines can be scattered in the winds or by our own footsteps as we cross or allow them to be crossed” there is even, which says much of where I am often in my life,
Morning By Myself
“It’s not that I don’t wish to go to sleep next to somebody , it’s that I don’t want to wake up next to them.
The obligations. The…need of attention.
I just don’t have it in me.
I woke, in my white, light filled new flat , the sound of rain fall ad the breeze through an open window brushing my cheek, alone. I smiled in the quiet gentleness of it all. I stretched, not obstructed by another. I lay there, enjoying no hands, no voice to interrupts, bother, impend or answer to. No one who wants to sleep with the blinds closed, the windows down and the a/c running.
To not be there to fulfill someones basic need of touch . To not be there for another.
I am not empty, not lonely.
My quiet. My space.My time. My mind.
I am happy with it. I embrace her like a dear friend. This, I want.”
I am aware how feminist I sound at times. But remember the “Kind of” part of the title, because when I am with someone I am still me and when I am not, I am not lonely.
Besides…it is a pretty tough life being a “A Kind Of Single Ladies” man. I don’t wish it on anyone….nearly.
And sometimes, it is truly and simply just all about me