No Lover

Day 4 of 30. Essays ” The Life of Peggy. A thirty-three year old, Kind Of Single Lady.”
Maybe I am slightly insane. I am most definitely awkward. I imagine all aspects in life with No Pants on.

Morning By Myself. Reason for no lover.

It’s not that I don’t wish to go to sleep next to somebody, it’s that I don’t want to wake up next to them.
The obligations. The…need of attention. I just don’t have it in me.

I woke up in my bright white light filled new flat , the sound of rainfall, alone….but not lonely. I smile into the quiet gentle fall. I stretched, not obstructed by another. I lay there , enjoying no hands, no voice to interrupt, bother, impend or answer to. To not be there to fulfill someone else’s basic need of touch and attention. I am not empty. I am not lonely.

My quiet. My space. My time. My mind. I am happy with it. I embrace her like a dear friend. This, I want.

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