Day 15 of 30. Essays ” The Life of Peggy. A thirty-three year old, Kind Of Single Lady.”
Maybe I am slightly insane. I am most definitely awkward. I imagine all aspects in life with No Pants on.
How does the unconventional person date?
I am married and divorced twice. No kids. I tried the conventional. It didn’t work out. It wasn’t for me. And now, older, single and no children, I am even more set in my ways. And more unconventional in dating each day.
I like my own space. My own place. My own living and my own plan to spend my own time…often…on my own. But at times…a date…or a lover…or even a person’s who’s eye’s I could look into and see forever…would be lovely. We all watch a sappy romantic movie with John Cusack and think just so for an hour and sixty minutes.
But then I try. And miserably fail, at a relationship…a date doesn’t even make it past a few. And I am sent again into the whole ” I will be single forever…and frankly…the thought is easier. Much.”
But when I do give it a go. And it gets past that first few to even an ” I might be able to keep you for the summer” the thoughts run into….so…where does this go? What is the goal? Do we need one? Well…society since the day of Adam and Eve have had us in get married, get children, die old.
But I am a down town island living, beach running, yoga doing, eat healthy with a side of icecream when I please, art gallery hovering, coffeeshop writing kind of gal. and I am most certainly the do not answer to anyone, go where I want and spend my time how I want. I have a growing anxiety of public and a growing phobia of sorts to making plans…and keeping them. I love love love time by myself. I adore my mornings with a plan by myself and getting at them, not hindered by another there.
But I love a cuddle. I love great sex. I love love love…a great partner and friend.
Ahhh, unconventional love. One day, we shall learn it. The balance. The no impending goal or plan. Just the love, commitment, respect that a relationship is in any way, shape or form.