A Lady Talks Books. First Comes Love.

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Type of Book: Memoir
Author: Marion Winik

First Comes Love.

Vintage Books
1996

Why I picked up this book: I had come across a mention somewhere of this author and it tempted me to read of her further, online I dug a little bit deeper and found a book she had published, a memoir, and the story itself sounded, well, quirky. I had walked right over from my loft then to the Galveston Bookstore and right there on the front shelf was the book. Upon purchase the owner told me the writer was due in town to speak and for a workshop at B’Nai Isreal and The Rosenberg Library just that very week. I went of course. I believe I have a new role model in not only writing, but in life and womanhood.

My impression when reading about this author was, quirky, when reading about the book itself, her memoir of marriage to her knowingly gay husband who dies of AID’s, during the start of the knowledge of AID’s in America, their relationship with drugs, and having children, my first thoughts were…who the fuck does this stuff?

While reading this book I ended up heading to Florida, where J’s aunt asked me what was reading…first time meeting family and this is the book I explained to her. *Eyebrow raised and walked outside* was the reaction.

Those thoughts kept up through reading the book, but also the pure rawness of the writing…her life on the page, was so connecting I felt as if I had myself lived it. And I don’t live a life anywhere near like hers. But she writes as if to hand you her shoes and help your feet slip right in.

Being a woman who lives and grows through life and being in a marriage with someone who does not also just…hit hard. The fact that he was facing death for years but life had to go on around him was what resonated with me.

She raised her kids. She changed as a woman. She grew as an author and put her life and experience into her writing. And she loved no matter what. To the end. Her husband and family as well as herself. She openly talks about helping her husband die. My impression often was ” She’s has balls.”

The completely unconventional marriage shows that love…and friendship, know no bounds. That there isn’t a box in which we live drawn out for us. No lines not to cross. It isn’t you over there, me over here. It is what a heart wants and what two people choose. There is no right or wrong way.

As a memoir outside most peoples boxes I suggest the read. As a writer I suggest the read. As a woman I suggest the read. When life just doesn’t seem like it’s going according to plan or your image of what it should be, I suggest the read. I look forward to reading many more of her books.

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