Pt. 2 of The Loss Of Things.
The next loss of “Things” came upon the day I left my husband (2nd) after five years and many rebuilt memories, all tied to him, I had no choice but to leave. I did go back and try to retrieve at least what was important to me but found them to be gone.
I didn’t even cry. I sighed deeply and walked away. What else to do? Another loss and starting over, from pure scratch this time…not the first, not the last. I was sad…not sad.
I of course needed stuff, clothing and everything was gone with only $6 in my pocket on that one. I lost a lot. But that could be replaced, decor that had nothing to do with him, clothing that had never been in a picture standing next to him. I was ok with this. I realized that everything rebuilt had been rebuilt next to him…and at that time I wanted nothing of him in my life.
I didn’t have to pack another box of “Peggy’s Past” and I didn’t have to figure out what to do with things that I couldn’t just throw out.
Everything I bought or built after that was all about me and for my healing at that time it was what was needed.
Because I had already lost my childhood and other previous items I did not suffer that loss now, only the years since and built with Him, and so the loss of anything to do with my life since my leaving him under not good circumstances was not really a loss at all, but a way to heal.
Had I had the choice I would have of course kept necessities and clothing and jewelry and books and pictures and too many things that didn’t need keeping.
As humans we tend to hold on to what should often be let go.
We don’t want to just throw our life in a dumpster but sometimes…it could be useful.
Not having to make that choice, but rather now than by flame, but by lies and hurt and anothers choice made for me, also helped take some of that pain carried with it away.
Sometimes, loss is not the worse thing a person can go through.
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