Pt. 3 of Loss of Things.
The next time that I lost a lot, but not all things this time, was when a pipe burst in my loft from above and when me and several firemen walked in not only was it a sprinkler system like rainfall but it was as if the bottom of a pool have been broken apart like an egg and was pouring down…and had been for about a hour already.
I saved my dog and got him to a safe place and when I returned the firemen were all trying to move my items out of the water and to dry places, collecting money, and had secured a garage for storage.
I looked at it and saw that much could not be saved, books had been pounded by water to mush and my computer, laptop and two camera’s had gotten the brunt of it. Artwork and more was gone.
It hadn’t been on one spot of my loft but over all of it. I thanked them and told them not to worry, I would handle the rest of it, I refused their money offerings and one looked right at me and said “I’d be crying.”
I sighed and said “I am used to it.”
And then he did for me.
I did save what could be and through it built better friendship and even a good moment with my mother came of it. Crockpot of food in hand and ready to help. She tried blowdrying books that were hopeless. And I hold those actions dear.
This loss was a few years after my divorce loss and I had rebuilt quite a bit and for a moment this felt like my healing kicked right in the teeth. Could I not just get the fuck ahead?
But I didn’t cry or complain but rather moved all my things into the Artist Lofts a block and a half away with my friend who had secured me a place quickly and helped with muscle too. I still miss that as we’ve fallen away since. (Other kinds of loss.) I soon rebuilt.
And you know what? I had been learning how to rebuild those previous few years and finding my own way after years in a marriage….some purging didn’t hurt here. Some of it was me figuring out who I was as a now divorced woman and also in my change of age and womanhood.
I looked at the positive. I learned to ALWAYS back up all things on computers. I had lost some great unrecovered works which destroys a writers heart and soul but…a callous there didn’t hurt either in the long run. Maybe.
I also never place all electronics in the same location anymore. Ha. But mostly I learned that good can come from loss.
At that moment it was about friendship and relationship with my mom for me (which is usually and even now nonexistent or strained.) And stuff…it’s just stuff. By now I was a pro at this and knew well that one does go on. Life does not end. Not over stuff.
#MorningMeditation #MorningCoffee #Stuff #Loss #LosingLife #StartingOver #Rebuilding