To My Younger Self. Adulthood & Friendship.

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I recently had a pleasant surprise of some very old pictures sent to me. Such another life time that I barely recognized myself in some. Here is a group that I really enjoyed.

I guess the thing I would tell her, my younger self (this would be about 18 years ago) would be that there will be real and genuine friends, they are there. That when others fall away it was meant to be and not to mourn them past their due. That part of growing up, life and changing means changes in friendships as well. But when you do find a good friend who truly makes you laugh, wants nothing more from you than genuine friendship and is there those eighteen years later treasure those kinds for sure. The ones who make you laugh just like in these pictures. Even they may or may not be friends forever as life changes our courses but they are still to be cherished for the times that they were.

Friendship is a funny thing when we become adults. I thought it was just me until all of these big time articles from The New Yorker to Inc. Magazine all came out with some form or another of the topic. Some friends come…and some friends go.

There will be those who do not deserve your friendship. And those who never did at all. Those who were always really in it for what they might get out of it eventually. There will be those that faded away somehow and with no fight or hurt between you but life that flowed a different way. And there will be those of whom you should walk away from. Negetivities in your life that are unhealthy like wilting branches from a healthy tree.

Friends will love you, support you, be protective of you, listen to your points of view even if they do not agree. And allow you to do the same. You might raise some voices but then have a good laugh about it later.

What would I tell this younger smiling self here? That I am still figuring it all out two decades later. But that you will look upon these moments and smile. They made your week. And somewhere once they made a part of your life. Cherish the good friends…and don’t be afraid to cut out the bad. Adulting is hard, but you are not the only one, and it is also not so bad. More than anything this young woman will like herself enough to be alone in solitude and not hate the core of all her friendships…herself. And this shows a strong tree from which many fruitful friendships will grow.

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